on March 23, 2011 by Azure in News, Comments (0)

‘Toons out of Harmony

DATELINE: Today, I think, might have been yesterday or the day before but probably wasn’t last week.  Sometime in the morning but it’s hard to tell inside.  Definitely wasn’t tomorrow.  The Freeloader Bar, N0 E2 Quodlibet: The peace and convivial atmosphere of the Freeloader Bar was shattered when a cartoon coati came rushing in, looking like a down-on-her-luck version of Natasha Nelson (Death of Bananas), hid under the stage, and then stabbed Miss Nelson with a fountain pen.  This reporter (Part-Time Power Supply) leaped to fight the intruder off with no success, and Zenkuro Babel (Local Fox, Newly Aware of Mortality) pounced upon her.

Alisande M. Silverlode (Local Magical Vixen Lady and Retired Death of Things Other than Bananas) accosted the intruder, one Nataliya (Somewhat Impolite Coati Who Is Also Probably Fond of Bananas) as she pulled the lever and sucked Natasha into the fountain pen.  She then broke free of her captors by drawing a coatimorphic mousetrap which closed upon Ms. Silverlode’s tail, breaking one of the vertebrae.

This reporter went after the coati with a new weapon (Epimenides’ Eraser) and eradicated the tip of one of her ears as Ms. Babel brought in a Super-Soaker filled with Dip (Chimerical Cartoon Killer.)  Nataliya evaded both of these threats by redrawing Ms. Nelson into a cannon then firing her.  After the explosion, Ms. Silverlode and the attacker fought for the fountain pen.  In response to this reporter’s questioning, Ms. Nelson claimed that Nataliya had been drawn by some “hero-worshiper” who wished for something like her.

Ms. Silverlode succeeded in capturing the fountain pen and sucked the cacophonous cartoon into it, where she continued to shout that one day Natasha’s copyright would expire, and that she (Nataliya) would soon have Natasha’s fame, place, and fans.  Ms. Silverlode (after threatening to write out War and Peace with a mixture of Nataliya’s ink and drain opener) stashed the pen in a jar inside a jar of Dip.

This was given to Ms. Nelson who immediately opened the jars and redrew her attacker, as Findra (Local Doctor and Bunnyrabbit) and Alkaryiske (Shiiiiiiiiny) attended to Ms. Silverlode’s fractured tail.  The marauding coati, after a brief conversation with Ms. Nelson, attempted to hang her with her own tail, handing her the fountain pen and offering to hang out sometime.

After more questioning (and being released from her tail), Ms. Nelson reluctantly revealed that her attacker had been drawn by Nigel (King of Quodlibet unless We’ve Had a Revolution.)

Is the world safe from this painted plight?  This animated abomination?  This reporter is pretty sure it is!

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