on January 14, 2015 by Leslie in Columns, Surveys, Comments (0)

Survey: What Do You Think People Would Like, For Iceberg Day?

Iceberg Day is the second Wednesday in January, and for it for this year I asked people who they figured who would be happier being a penguin and who would be happier being a walrus instead. It could be just for play.

fluffy said, “I think Niny’ah would like being a penguin, ‘coz they can swim all sleek and fast and swimmy in the water. I think Borris would like being a walrus ‘coz then he could eat everything.” A lot of people thought Borris would be a happy walrus!

Xor also thought Borris would prefer being a walrus, and “I think… maybe Featherwing would want to be a penguin?” (Featherwing didn’t say.)

Ruby said “I don’t know what others would want. I just know what I want.” I asked her if she could guess and she said she couldn’t because she can’t guess, she can only use facts. I asked how she can only use facts when you can’t decide anything new if you don’t make guesses but she said if she had good information she didn’t have to make guesses, and I didn’t see how you could know if you had good information if you didn’t make guesses from it. She said “If it’s a trusted source I don’t have to ‘make guesses’ to see if it’s right. If it’s right I won’t be dead after using it.” I don’t see how you could get killed from guessing who would like being a walrus if they could.

Cyril didn’t answer because he said he’s “not much for the cold.”

Jukka said, “I think Darius would make a good penguin since he often has a snazzy tuxedo on anyways, and Kona would like to be a walrus because shi likes antlers, and tusks are just like antlers in your mouth. Oh, there’s probably someone else. Maybe Borris would be a good walrus ’cause he’d want to eat a penguin.”

Thurisaz said, “I think I’d be a penguin! [It’s a] change of pace from being so big.”

Just as I was asking PatchO’Black, Garrison said, “Patchy would be a penguin,” and PatchO’Black was singing a snowy tune and changed into a penguin! They both said, “See?” at the same time. PatchO’Black said, “I like being a penguin. I’m well-dressed, and can go sliding on my belly down snowy hills!” I asked him if he’d want to invite other people to be penguins with him, especially on Iceberg Day. He said, “that kind of depends on Borris. Too many penguins around, and he might not be able to control his hunger. [But] I think that many folks would like to be a penguin. Nothing against walruses, they do have nice mustaches.”

Indigo Zaman said, “I’m fairly sure [Leslie] would be happy to be a penguin for a day. [But] have you thought of whether anyone would want to be an iceworm?” I hadn’t even heard of them. She explained, “Iceworms are tiny worms that burrow through glaciers. [They live] on tiny bit of algae and other such that grow upon the ice. Their proteins denature so easily that they melt when removed from freezing temperatures.” I didn’t even know there were such things as iceworms, but I didn’t think I could re-do the whole survey and make it penguin, walrus, or iceworm instead.

So from the original question if she got to be a walrus or penguin a while she said, “I think I’d rather live the preceding day twice then skip over the day I had to be a penguin or walrus.” Even for play? “Oh, perhaps a penguin, then. The sliding looks like it would be agreeable, and the swimming too.”

Larana wasn’t sure but thought she’d rather be a penguin, but admitted, “I just don’t really know anyone well enough. I can certainly see Cyril as a walrus somehow?”

Natasha just said, “Here’s another clue for you all: the walrus was Paul.” I don’t know anybody named Paul.

Garrison asked me what I would like better and I told him that they’re both pretty but I guessed a walrus, especially because so many people don’t think they want to be them, so they’re probably lonelier.

Samnang gave the most interesting answer though. “I think [Niny’ah] would be most like a penguin, because she can swim like crazy, but can’t fly at all. I’ve done the simulations and she’s about as aerodynamic as a cinder block and has the flight capabilities of a ’59 Caddy. As for who would be the walrus, well, they’d have to be surprisingly graceful in the water yet move about like a concrete truck with nearly flat tires and that title I’d have to play upon Carcer.” I didn’t know who Carcer was and didn’t find him before writing up the answers here but Samang explained he’s a big turtle guy who “would probably take real exception to me comparing him to a wounded cement truck like that. But at the same time I think he’d also like the example because he’s tough and cement trucks are tough as well. So… It might be one of those situations where it might be best to give the example via telegram and watch from a distance.

Samang also said, “I’m pretty sure fluffy would like to be a penguin. They strike me as really digging the monochrome look. I also think Jukka would like to be a walrus and Borris a penguin, so for once Jukka would be able to eat Borris, or threaten to.” Jukka didn’t think so because threatening people “isn’t really my thing” and Samnang agreed, “I think Jukka actually would, since he doesn’t threaten.” Jukka said “I don’t really find that sort of play too fun,” and Samnang nodded. “Jukka would lay on him for sure. Trust-fall like.”

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