Borris Just Not Hungry, Garrison Says

Garrison approached this reporter this week with the allegation that “Borris isn’t hungry tonight. I have statements from witnesses who weren’t eaten and everything.” In acknowledgement of how much supporting evidence such a claim would require, Garrison set a cow next to Borris, to gauge his reaction.

Borris leaned against the cow and acknowledged “it’s a nice cow”. The cow nuzzled him. Borris admitted, “It has been a odd day for this old bear,” and went on to confirm that Thurisaz was “a bit peckish”.