on April 24, 2010 by Findra in News, Comments (0)

Skyler and Findra Discover Faster-Than-Light Travel – Without Moving

In the wee early hours of Saturday morning, Findra and Skyler, local wizard bunnies (no relation) claimed to have discovered how to travel faster than light, without actually moving anywhere at all.

Might this have been SpinDizzy's fate?

“It’s all very simple,” Findra was quoted as saying.  “The prior photons that we were engaging on SpinDizzy was fundamentally derived from the Directly Slowed Light (or DSL) system, and suffered from a maximum limit on its velocity that was in direct correlation with relative distances involved between SpinDizzy and the light source.   This system of light was quite useful, safe, and most of the time residents were unaware of the minor issues with transmission time delays.

“However, Skyler and I hypothesized that we could use the much faster Continuous Modulation (CM) mode for the light we utilize on SpinDizzy, to actually make it travel faster than light!  Although there was the slight risk of observing oneself coming back to your house before you left on a shopping trip, and hence an increased chance of not knowing whether one was coming of going, it was highly unlikely that the device used to swap the mode of all light that we use would actually cause a singularity that would swallow all life as we know it.

Colander used in the CM conversion device

“I’m pleased to say that the experiment was a complete success!” Findra finished as she was putting away a complex device made of several gold metal coils, tubes, delicately shaped glass balls, and what looked to be an aluminium colander.  “It’s to strain the photons,” Skyler added when he noticed this reporter regarding it.  The second person involved in the experiment, Skyler, yellow wizard bunny, seemed to be more sanguine about the experiment, and seemed to have developed a nervous twitch of one ear.  He would not be drawn, however, about his own concerns about the risks involved in the experiment.

“It did work, after all,” Skyler said.  “And the sun only left the sky for less than a minute.”  He then quickly excused himself, declaring that he had some urgent business elsewhere that involved a large glass of carrot beer.

This reporter has detected that there does indeed seem to be an interesting increase in the immediacy of events on SpinDizzy, and that in reading proofs of this news report, it seems to be considerably faster.  Time will tell whether we as residents of SpinDizzy will continue to benefit from this new technology.

SpinDizzy News Sources

No Comments

Leave a comment