on April 15, 2010 by Austin in News, Comments (0)

PatchO’Black Misuses Poking Stick

PatchO’Black, jellicle stick-owner, somewhere around Love Day acquired what was described as a “poking stick” from Royce, raccoon. He used it after Razi, koopa/dragonturtle, wondered about the wobbling which Darius, ferret, was up to. Austin, coati, explained, “Well, you know how balloons can be, Razi. Although it was Darius wobbling, wasn’t it? He’s not a balloon. That explains that.” Though Razi seemed content with the explanation PatchO’Black took out the poking stick and poked Austin with it.

Asked what that was for, PatchO’Black explained it was from Royce, and asked by Austin what he was using to poke it, said, “Well, you, at the moment.” Austin pointed out he was not poking the stick as the stick was poking him, which was the wrong way around; but PatchO’Black insisted the stick was for poking. “If the stick’s for poking then why isn’t anything poking it?” was Austin’s natural query.

PatchO’Black would go on to poke Gilead, harbor seal, with the stick, provoking cries of, “Help! Help! I’m being clubbed! Come, see the violence inherent in the system!” PatchO’Black insisted he was not clubbing the seal and was rather carefully poking her with the stick Royce gave him. Satisfied with this, and not raising obvious questions about where the stick for poking the poking stick would come from, Gilead clapped together her coconut halves to trot away.

Later yet PatchO’Black went on to poke Royce, turning the poking stick on its bestower. He returned to poking Austin again, ignoring Austin’s comments that he was not using the stick right. PatchO’Black insisted, “You are being absurd, so I’m poking you. [ … ] I’m poking you with the stick. Thus, it is a poking stick: a stick to poke things with.”

Austin answered, “Then it’s a poking me you have, and you’re using a stick to do it. You’re not poking the stick at all. It’s a non-poking stick.”

The issue inspired Leowolf, wolf-lion, to wonder if Austin could be captured in a Pokeball, and if he could, what sort of Pokemon he would be. Leading speculation was that he would have a power of “confusion.”

While PatchO’Black has not since used the poking stick on Austin, citizens are urged to take weirdly strong opinions on his application of the stick.

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