Board Post Recommends ‘Healthy Glow’

On October 23, a note was found on the bulletin board in the Rose Garden.  It was not signed, but a SpinDizzy News source has suggested that the author is Natasha Nelson.  It is reproduced in its entirety below.

Hello, Spindizzy!

The groovy drug vending machine for Groovy Day was an unqualified success. You experimented, you had fun, you took a few tentative steps out of your chat-and-cuddle comfort zone, maybe a few of you questioned the fine line between “drug” and “medicine,” and only one of you (that we know of) carelessly stuck your palm with a syringe. (For future reference, it’s “a shot in the arm.” The ARM, people, the ARM.)

But not everyone is as happy as we are. In fact, some foxes seem downright displeased! First, a pervy grabby slobbery fox tried to talk us into making a line of satirical SED action figures. As it happens we’ve had a prototype plush Zeta toy made, but we weren’t able to put it into production because we ran out of sandpaper. We suppose the prototype may be the only one around, forever. Tragic, really.

Then a little fox with a big case of self-denial had the silly idea to have another, big, dumb, trigger-happy fox deliver a pile of uranium ingots to our doorstep. Luckily the big, dumb, trigger-happy fox was too dumb to find the front door, so now we have a big pile of uranium busily radiating in our lawn. While this has done wonders for the local plant life, we suspect it may have deleterious effects on ourselves since, at last count, at least one of us is a nonmagical mere mortal.

So what should we do? Why, go down singing, of course!

What shall we do with uranium ingots,
What shall we do with uranium ingots,
What shall we do with uranium ingots,
Ear-ly in the morning?
Way, hay, the counter’s clickin’,
Way, hay, the counter’s clickin’,
Way, hay, the counter’s clickin’,
Ear-ly in the morning

Pick them up, in the dark we’re glowin’, …
Ear-ly in the morning
Way, hay, the counter’s clickin’, …
Ear-ly in the morning

Put them down, ’cause we’re feelin’ queasy, …
Ear-ly in the morning
Way, hay, the counter’s clickin’, …
Ear-ly in the morning

Send them back, we’ve become mutated, …
Ear-ly in the morning
Way, hay, the counter’s clickin’, …
Ear-ly in the morning

Just relax, we think they’re depleted, …
Ear-ly in the morning
Way, hay, the counter’s clickin’, …
Ear-ly in the morning

What shall we do with uranium ingots, …
Ear-ly in the morning?
Way, hay, the counter’s clickin’, …
Ear-ly in the morning.

If you need fuel for a nuclear power plant, or if you want to perform experiments, or if you just want to try something silly, then come by (‘luge n7 e0’) and help yourself! If you have any suggestions for fun stuff we could do with this payload, send your answers to:

Old Pink
c/o The Funny Farm
Chalfont

Or you could contact anyone you suspect of being an AWK member, especially if they’ve repeatedly denied being one.

Love and kisses,
The Association of Wags and Knockabouts