CAPSULE RECAPTURED: Crossroads Carnival’s ‘Thanks for the Memories’ Roaring Success for Intrepid Adventurers

On the faintly clouded eve of October the 6^th, 2013, a steel hearted crew of our fair SpinDizzians braved the big top Outside Edgeworld Amusement Park to confront the devious cast of the Crossroads Carnival, the scheming rouges behind the appalling theft of the Fifteenth Anniversary Time Capsule! Stepping between the folds of the tent’s stark red and garish yellow that fateful night, our heroes knew not what they faced, save it was inconsequential compared to the precious memories so cruelly snatched from the hands, paws, claws, and assorted grabby bits of their rightful owners.

And the challenges they braved to prove their worthiness to possess such priceless artifacts! With three circular stages hotly spotlit and ringed with the tiered seats of an attentive but phantasmal audience, eager whispers of the show starting hot on their translucent lips, it seemed only just that three trials stood between our heroes and their quested prize. A brief promenade of poodles announced the name of the oncoming show, the appropriately titled “Thanks For The Memories,” and the acts got underway. First and foremost was the taming of the mighty Titan, a formidable African lion with a roar that could shake the rafters and send any humble reporter scrambling for the nearest exit! However, our noble crew was more than up to the task of putting the beast in his place. Several swift cracks of a procured whip had the feline sitting pretty on his pedestal within a matter of moments, jaw wide, the shape of the coveted Capsule nestled in his teeth. A fake, it turned out to be, once transferred into our hero’s possession through a skillful propping open of the mouth and a hasty snatch, but a step closer to their goal was obtained all the same.

The first act set pace for the rest of the evening’s performance, our adventurers deftly handling the rest the carnival and its ringmaster, Tritonia the sea lioness, had to offer as the night wore on. Erik the raccoon, the Crossroads resident escape artist, was sent packing with aplomb soon after the feline. His trials of blades, flames, and locks surrounding a doomed-to-be crushed Time Capsule were put to rest by the dexterity and cleverness of Sonja and Carl, two of the night’s more prominent players, as they were aided by the supporting fire and courageous strength of compatriots Snaggletooth and Micajah, respectively. Polishing off the second act’s performance was an awe-inspiring, death-defying, blindfolded, shackled, water-bound escape act by resident magician Ms. Harmony Merlin, whose efforts deactivated the final mechanism holding the Time Capsule captive! Another fake, as might’ve been expected, though the cheers and applause from the gathered audience certainly was its own reward as the whole cast took their well-deserved bows.

Jabrut the woolly mammoth, the circus strongman, and perhaps philosopher, if such a sideshow was capable of drawing large audiences, was expertly defeated in the Crossroads Carnival’s final test for a time capsule slightly more convincing of realism than the previous two without being the genuine article. Sources conflict on whether he was bested through verbal sparring, or the more feminine members among our heroes challenging the assertion no “man” can move him, though the end result was our adventurers being judged worthy of keeping the capsule… at the price of forfeiting the control of SpinDizzy over to the Crossroads Carnival! A firm denial of such terms sent “Thanks for the Memories” spiraling to its quick conclusion, our heroes hurried into action by the sudden appearance of Crossroads illusionist Blackear the Great, the authentic Time Capsule, and said white rabbit magician’s threat to make such precious memories disappear! Luckily, present among our heroes was Mr. Kinsor, who blinded the sinister sorcerer with a trick of his own, causing the rabbit to lose his own magic wand into the hat of forgetfulness, disabling his magic before his acts could advance too far. Thus was the invaluable capsule recaptured as the big top devolved into chaos.

Mission accomplished, the heroes parted ways, for the Fifteenth Anniversary Time Capsule was once again safe in the paws of one they could trust. It, as well as its precious contents, were later consigned to a ceremonial vault in a concurrent ceremony, ensuring its safety for the oncoming years until its inevitable exhuming.

(This humble reporter deftly apologizes for the lateness of this printed report. His day job’s rigors left original drafts splattered with pineapple juice, accidentally blood tested, and misfiled among thousands of identical tigresses. He begs some forgiveness in this matter and for any mistakes or quality disputes in the above recollection.)