A Fair Fight: Pugil Stick Battle Waged

On August 30th, 2011, great battles were waged on SpinDizzy. Not for land; not for vengeance; not for economic gain. Merely for glory, and to sate the bloodlust fury that throbs, primal, in the veins of all—

Okay, so they were pugil-stick fights. Can’t an entity get some dramatic ambiance going? Er, right. Yes. The fights.

For those of you unfamiliar with the concept of pugil-stick fighting, I refer you to either American Gladiators or Hot Shots! Part Deux, the latter being where I first saw it. It is a martial art, similar in ways to quarterstaff fighting, in which the combatants are usually clad in padded armor, and wield long, padded sticks with which to beat their opponent silly. The fights can take place either on pedestals, or in a ring, with winner being the first to knock their opponent off, or out of the ring, respectively.

The event, hosted by Morticon, saw four matches: Joshua (cybernetic canid) vs. Sora (feathery fox); Konov (extrasensory extraterrestrial) vs. Morticon (morally-dubious marsupial); Austin (procyonid professor) vs. Lizzie (cookie-bearing common raccoon); and Kelketek’ (re-vimmed vulpine) vs. Aina’ 56 (stalwart soldier). Judging were Morticon and BunnyHugger (principled professor).

The first match took place in the ring, where Joshua and Sora faced off. During the exchange of blows, ground was taken and given by both combatants, with Joshua appearing to have an advantage at least once in the match. However, Sora eventually gained the upper hand, knocking him out of the ring with a final push, right on the time mark.

The second match was also fought in the ring, between Konov and Morticon. The former agreed to use no psionic powers, while the latter agreed (tacitly) not to call in air strikes. It was another close match, with Konov bearing the advantage of fleet feet, and Morticon of firmer footing. In the end, Konov knocked Morticon out of the ring, winning the match.

The third pair were Austin and Lizzie, who battled on the pedestals. Smaller equipment was supplied for both. This match was quite evenly-fought: though Austin managed a knock-down, neither actually managed to remove their adversary from the pedestal. After some deliberation, the judges awarded the point to Austin, for having landed a blow.

The final match was somewhat more impromptu: a round between the recently-cloned Kelketek’ and the not-so-recently-at-all-cloned Aina’ 56. Onlookers declared it the most humorous of the fights, with Kelketek’ primarily dodging around Aina’. The bout ended when Aina”s strength overcame Kelketek”s agility, and knocked him out of the ring.

A fun time was had by all, perhaps most those who were unable to attend the previous year’s event. Several spectators and combatants remarked that they look forward to another installment at the next Fair.